Countless people are experiencing anxiety and worry about money. This may be coming from having an unstable financial structure in your life—a structure I call the Money/Life Drain. Are YOU caught in the money-life drain? Are you experiencing a sense of increasing pressure and escalating emotions around money? And if your relationship to money is problematic, are you feeling enormous pressure to make more money or to spend less?

I want to share with you the layers of the Money/Life Drain, to help you see where you are. The Money/Life drain describes a financial structure born of unhealthy money behaviors and circumstances. The force of the Money/Life Drain, with increasing pressure and narrowing options, draws us down to its bottom level. There, we feel trapped, caught in a repeated pattern of money behaviors and the consequences that come with them.

Let’s look at the layers of the Money/Life Drain, starting at the top.

Level 1: Financial Burdens, Debt, Out-of-Control Expenses

We start our descent into the Money/Life Drain with feelings of being burdened. Our expenses are growing and we are having trouble keeping up. We might be juggling funds, using credit cards or family loans just to stay afloat. These provide momentary relief, but then the problems resume. Worry about money becomes a distraction. But despite our sincere intentions, our money habits don’t seem to change. Bills continue to mount and creditors expect to be paid.


Level 2: Inability to Save, Pressure to Work and/or Earn More

The pressure increases and the options narrow. We can’t seem to save money. It’s hard to keep up with, much less get ahead of, our financial difficulty. Obtaining money by borrowing against the equity on our homes or by tapping retirement accounts, once unthinkable, now seems necessary. We feel pressure to get more money by working more hours or getting a second job. Even if we do this, the pressure doesn’t subside.


Level 3. Stressed Relationships

We argue more—and more heatedly—with our loved ones. If we’re trying to hide how bad our finances really are, the burden of the secret wears on us and we live in fear of being discovered. Friends or family members might grow impatient with our repeated inability to “get our act together.” We have little time for people we love, which adds to a sense of isolation.


Level 4: Comprised Health and Well-Being

Worry about money is now starting to affect our sleep and our mood. Insomnia and anxiety add to our exhaustion. We suffer headaches or digestive troubles, elevated blood pressure, chest pain—or even panic attacks. We might turn to alcohol, drugs, or other distractions to escape the feelings of dread that seem nearly constant.


Level 5: financial, Emotional, and Spiritual Depletion

Finally, we are overwhelmed on every level. We experience down-to-the-bone exhaustion and feel depleted financially, emotionally, and spiritually.


Do not despair! I’ve described this Money/Life Drain so you will know you are not alone and to help you see where you are in the cycle.

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June 2nd, 2011 by Karen McCall