In this short video, I am actually reading from my own book, FINANCIAL RECOVERY: Developing a Healthy Relationship with Money. Obviously, I like what I wrote! Shame and deprivation often play into an unhealthy relationship to money. And in fact, if we don’t look at the effects of shame and deprivation, logical solutions to money problems won’t help us. To truly help people heal their relationships with money, deprivation will usually need to be addressed.
Deprivation means living in a state of emptiness and longing, of which we may not even be aware, but which nonetheless drives our choices. Deprivation is the wound that develops when our most essential needs – physical, emotional, social or spiritual – are not met, particularly when these needs are not met for a long time, and even more so when this happens to us early in life.
When we peel back the layers of our money behaviors and look at the emotional drivers that got us into unhealthy or stressful financial circumstances, we almost invariably find a profound sense of deprivation. Very often this deprivation is fueled by an even deeper and more darkly cloaked sense of shame.
Learning how to meet our most essential needs is the most vital step in disarming deprivation and eliminating its power in our lives. When we sort our needs from wants, (and this is a much more subtle process than you might at first think), we can address deprivation at its core, uncover our truest and most profound desires, and create a life of our own design.
Understanding and learning how to meet our needs is elemental to eliminating deprivation and the unhealthy influence it may be having in our lives. Spending our time, energy and money in ways that meet our deepest needs cools the fever of deprivation and lets us feel a sense of peace and comfort. As we learn to meet our needs, we become better equipped to make wise and thoughtful choices about those things we want. But when we remain unaware of our needs or neglect to meet them, we perpetuate the cycle of shame and deprivation and keep ourselves stuck in unhealthy money patterns.
To feel abundance in life – whether it’s money, relationships, work, or joy – wounds of deprivation must be healed.
“You can never get enough of what you don’t need”.