Many people on the road to financial recovery assume—at first anyway—that looking at your finances means you will no longer get to enjoy anything fun.
You imagine creating a list of what you are “allowed” to buy—and signing your soul over to a financial prison where it’s all work and no play. No wonder people put off addressing their finances!
If giving up all the fun, pleasurable things forever was required to heal your relationship with money, who would want to do this?
Strict narrow thinking and rigid spending plans make it impossible to stay the course. This is why I advocate a financial recovery process that feels good, and that revolves around your specific needs.
My friend Angela figured this out while looking for a new apartment. Her first impulse was to spend the bare minimum on rent. I remember her word...Continue Reading
What do you dream of having today—a new purse, a house, a vacation, a car?
Now think about this, do you need these things, or do you want these things?
You may be wondering. "What's the difference?" I've shed a little light on this below:
A need, when filled, sustains us.
A want, when filled, entertains us.
Attempt to substitute wants for needs eventually drains us.
Spending on a myriad of things we want while leaving needs unmet is like grazing all day on snacks and never feeling full, or satisfied.
So too, we might spend—or overspend—on a thousand things and still feel a hunger for a need yet unmet.
Sorting wants from needs and beginning to make decisions about them is more of an ongoing conversation with yourself than a checklist.
By slowing down, looking inward, and discerning if items are a need o...Continue Reading
When most people think of money addiction, an image of a gambling addict may come to mind, or someone who loves to flash their new designer outfit or their fancy car du jour.
It’s easy to spot these obvious manifestations. But the real trick is noticing the hidden signs—the ones that your friends, family, and maybe even you express.
The truth is, money addiction is at the root of under earning, overworking, compulsive shopping and spending, and even excessive saving.
You might be wondering, “How bad can it really be to be an overspender or a workaholic? What real damage can it do?” But when you peel back the curtain and find out what is driving your need to earn, to save, to spend—you’ll find that money is the mask you’ve chosen for your unique internal struggles.
As with any addiction, these behaviors will only g...Continue Reading
No one would argue that our early family experiences don’t have a lot to do with how we lead our lives, but many of us don’t think about our relationship with work and earning as being connected to those experiences.
Exploring your family history and the messages you absorbed from those early experiences can help you understand your current relationship with work and earning and can also help you examine whether your current work is “working for you.”
Some people have never asked themselves what they want from their work. Some devalue their skills or their capacities and feel they have to accept something less. Others grew up in affluent families, hobbled by the presence of family money.
Sometimes people who grew up with modest means uncover feelings of guilt for wanting a financial life bigger than the one in which they ...Continue Reading
A good spending plan facilitates “Do No Harm” spending. At the end of movies in which there have been animal stunts, I often see the disclaimer “No animals were harmed in the making of this movie.” That’s how I like to feel when I’ve spent on something that is on my spending plan — “Karen was not harmed in the buying of this item.” The goal of having a spending plan is to enjoy the peace and self-esteem that come with “Do No Harm” spending. (excerpt from Financial Recovery: Developing a Healthy Relationship with Money)
Here's a great blog post from Ari Gold, "The Money Stylist" and certified Financial Recovery counselor, titled "Change Your Spending Habits and Save Money in Seconds". Check out her terrific tips!
Excerpt: "Can you change your spending habits and save money in just seconds? Yes, you can! I...Continue Reading
Healing Deprivation: The Key to Creating a Life Filled with Meaning, Satisfaction, and Abundance